November seems to be a hard month.  As I painted this I searched high and low for a name that I felt would be better than November, but I never came up with one.  Although I can name a personal reason I named this November, the main reason comes from November 2012.  That was the month Zachary passed away.  Zach was my brother-in-law, my husbands brother, and my in-laws son.  They say you cannot unsee things and I believe that is true for my husband and father in law.  However, I cannot unhear something.  The sound my mother in law made when she found out Zach had died.  I was there, and that sound pierced my heart in a way I did not a know a sound could.  The cry of a mother, desperate for something to not be true.

This painting represents loss.  The loss of a child (unborn or gown), the loss of a parent, a dog that never left your side, or of anyone love and want so badly to be with you.  I see a couple who’s child has had a tragic accident or is ill and their parents feel absolutely helpless.  Your heart feels crushed and shattered, you scream and cry and nothing but the word “no” and “please no” will come out.  You turn to the person closest to you to simply keep you from falling and somehow, you kept standing.  Somehow you eventually took a step, and somehow you lived on.